Donor Sperm IUIs(crosspost)

This is an old post from a fertility issues bullitin board, dated on the day I made it.

So, my husband has low sperm count, poor motility, and low morphology. He’s been on clomid for 2 months now to try and increase the count, but they said it probably wouldn’t work and that if we got pregnant naturally, it would be “like winning the lottery.” Nice, huh?
I’ve been resistant to the idea of donor sperm, but he’s been trying to convince me to do it. Finally convinced me to at least consider it the other night, and we have an appt with the RE to go in and discuss it. I’m worried about it, and mourning the loss of the creation of the family the way we planned on. However, waiting to save money until we can do IVF is hurting me more. So, it sounds like we’re going to try doing IUIs with donor sperm, and see where that takes us. Insurance will cover the IUI, at least until January, when my insurance changes–but thats a whole other subject. Suffice to say there’s some pressure to do it soon.

Anyways, here’s my question: How do you feel about donor sperm? Could you do it, knowing that it isn’t your only chance (there’s a chance we could get pregnant using husband’s sperm and IVF)? Would you worry, as I do, about throwing it in his face in an argument (ie, “She’s not even your kid!”)? Or am I crazy to worry about that?

 

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One response to “Donor Sperm IUIs(crosspost)

  1. Hi!
    I”m here from L&F.
    We also have male factor and I seriously considered doing a donor IUI, just because of how terrified I was about all the shots required for IVF, I’ve always been a champion for all things natural. I also felt it was unfair that since my body was always ready and waiting, that I should be the one to carry all the burden of doing a medicated cycle when mine had been fine all along. (we have been ttc for over 6 years). But then… with IVF and ICSI, there is a high chance that my DH can father a child. and this is what I wrote on my blog when I decided to go for IVF:
    “I realized that going the DI route would always leave me with a question… always wondering what could have been… because it is possible for my husband to father a child through ICSI, and it is a beautiful gift to both of us (or the three of us, if we succeed) to try an do it that way.”

    of course, our situation is different, our insurance covers it, so I felt somewhat weird for not trying it. And yes, I had a feeling that I’d know and use the fact that the kid was MY kid and not his. He was supportive of whatever I wanted to do. But he admitted that having that there was a chance, he was very grateful that I’m doing this for us.
    In the end, only the two of you can decide and know what’s right for you.

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