Lyra Harper and Ethan Christopher, born Friday, May 29th at 1:11 pm and 1:13 pm. Lyra weighed 990grams, or 2.18lbs and was 14 inches long, Ethan weighed 1000grams or 2.2 pounds and was 13 1/4 inches long. Both are in the NICU, extubated after 28 hours on the vent, and doing well. We made it to 26 6/7 weeks after 2 weeks of bedrest.
More updates to come.
Photos: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ceejayoz/sets/72157618893704933/
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Note: If anyone’s feeling sensitive, this probably isn’t the post for you to read right now.
So, as you know, we got lucky on our first medicated IUI with donor sperm, and have wound up with twins. I now feel that we were kind of pressured into taking the Clomid: “Oh, we’ll monitor you, there’s only an 8% chance of twins, etc” Well, I had three follicles develop, and two fertilized and stuck. And I am so scared of having twins. When I was in my late teens, I was a nanny for twins(and their slightly older sister), and it was awful–one would scream, which would set the other one off, and I wasn’t strong enough to hold them both at the same time….I can just see myself falling off the deep end with these two. At almost 15 weeks, I’m pretty sure it’s too late for selective reduction….why didn’t I push for that earlier? I guess I was in denial, thinking that I’d miscarry one and that everything would be ok.
The medications for they hyperemesis (phenergan, benedryl, reglan, zofran) have kept me so out of it that all I do lately is sleep.
However, last week I was finally able to wean off them, and suddenly: excess energy! Which for me, manifests itself as worry and panic attacks, etc. I’m bipolar to start with, and couldn’t keep any of my psych meds down during the hyperemesis, so I’ve basically been unmedicated for the past 12 weeks. Last Sunday my husband brought me to the ED twice to try and get some help, and all I got was a lecture on how “this was a very special pregnancy,” etc etc. Since then, I’ve managed to get into see my therapist, OB, andpsychiatrist, and we’re hoping that now that I can keep pills down I’ll start getting better.
I feel so guilty about this, when I know there are thousands of woman who would kill to be in my place. But my husband and I only ever wanted one baby. I wanted that closeness, that intimacy with my baby that I can’t have now. I wanted to do attachment parenting, and I don’t think that’s possible when you’ve got two babies to split your attention between. So much of what i wanted to do, I can’t have. I go to the baby stores and look at double strollers, and they’re so huge. We had to buy a new car just to fit the two carseats and twin stoller in it.
Please, someone out there tell me I’m not alone in this. I know twins are supposed to be a blessing, but it all feels so damn overwhelming right now. All I can do is cry these days.
We had another appointment today, and it went well. Got the results back from the nuchal translucency ultrasound and bloodwork, and it looks good. Our chances of a baby with Down’s was 1 in 4800(or therabouts, I don’t remember the actual number), and the doc doesn’t recommend amnio or CVS testing. Which is good, because I didn’t really want to do either of them. The idea of it kinda scares me. Giant needles do not belong in those places!
Dr S was able to find both babies’ heartbeats today, which was pretty cool. He also cautioned against using the doppler too often, because it concentrates a lot of energy into a fairly small spot. I’m not terribly worried about my every-three-days habit for now.
Took our first belly shot last night. I look like hell, but my belly is getting…dramatic. The change over the past week is surprising. I am going to be huge by the time this pregnancy is done.
Damnit, I was doing so well, but the past two days as I try to wean off of the meds, I find myself backsliding. Threw up about 15-20 times yesterday, and about 10 so far today…talked to the MD’s nurse who said I could go back on the Zofran and see if that will help. One thing is for sure: I can’t go off the benedryl.
This is so disappointing: I was doing so well, hadn’t thrown up in 9 days, and then the pharmacy ran out of benedryl and couldn’t get it to me in time for my doses, and everything went to hell. So, a few more days on the Zofran, and then I guess we’ll try again. I’m just so disappointed.
We finally found the heartbeats(or at least, one of them) with the doppler! Will post them as soon as I figure out how.
Pretty cool.
ETA: Here you go!</p>
Oy, I got behind on posting. Here’s the latest updates:
Spent last weekend in the hospital trying to get the hyperemesis under control, and it actually worked! I haven’t thrown up in a week, which is amazing for me. I’m still on tons of meds: Reglan,Phenergan, Benedryl. We’re starting to try and wean off the meds, and so Dr S had me stop the Zofran yesterday. So far, so good. Still doing two liters of IV fluids a day, because I have a hard time drinking enough. Still showing ketones in my urine too, which I don’t really understand: I’m not starving myself anymore; I can eat real meals, so why is my body still breaking down the fat stores?
Had our 5th ultrasound yesterday for the first trimester screen, and it went great. If I remember correctly, the nuchal measurement is supposed to be less than 2mm, and Baby A was 1.0mm, Baby B was 1.2mm. Of course, we have to wait for the bloodwork to get the official results, but I’m not too worried. The babes actually looks like babies now, instead of like gummy bears. Can see hands, feet, legs, noses(!), watch them roll and move around…Pretty cool. Baby A was lying with her feet crossed at the ankle, which I found to be exceedingly cute. Videos are up on Flickr here.
I’m starting to show, which I guess isn’t too surprising considering the ultrasound tech says the tops of my uterus is at my navel. I had no idea it was that big, but it makes sense–both babies are about 5-5.5 cm long, with 8-10cm sacs…lots of stuff in there taking up space. Anyways, most of my shirts are too short now, they ride up around my belly. We need to go out and buy some maternity shirts today. Can’t believe I’m 12 weeks and already in maternity clothes.
Dr S found heartbeats yesterday with the doppler. I haven’t tried yet with our home doppler, but hopefully we can find them soon.
So, things seem to be going well now. I’m nearly out of the first trimester danger zone, which is a relief. Hope all is well with everyone else!
I think I might be showing?! I’ve always had a little pooch there so I def. look pregnant, but I think it’s starting to look different over the past week. And I think I can actually feel my uterus if I poke around just above my pubic bone, which is kinda cool.
We got a home doppler and are waiting until we can find HBs with that. I’ve tried a few times and was able to catch flashes of something in the 150-170 range, but not sure if it was babies or something else–digestion, maybe? At any rate, nothing I can hold onto with the doppler. I’m only 9w4d, so it’s still too early–the doppler says 10-12 weeks.
Every week I hit feels just amazing to me. I think, “9 weeks, wow, that’s so far along!” especially compared to my previous 5 week pregnancies.
Getting a lot of stabbing pains in my breasts. The achniess of the first few weeks has gone away, and now I just get stabbing pains, mostly on the right–but I’m not sure if it’s from development or if it’s because that’s where my mediport(IV) is.
Not really sure if I’ve been released from the RE or not–they were going to do an u/s at 7 weeks, but the midwife I was seeing at the time wanted it sooner so I canceled the RE’s u/s and went in earlier. Haven’t heard anything from the RE since I called and told them I was having twins. Think I should call them?
Quick Summary: There’s still two, and they are Just Fine.
So, we had another doctor’s appointment today to see how the hyperemesis is going. Basically, I’m still throwing up between 15 and 35 times a day, on 8mg of Zofran every 6 hours(this is the max dose). The zofran dose just got raised yesterday, so we’re hoping for a better day today and a better weekend. Dr S says if I keep vomiting like this, I’m going to have to have an NG tube–where they stick a tube down my nose, into my stomach, and run liquid nutrition through it. He doesn’t want to do TPN(IV nutrition) unless we have to, and neither do I–though I’m not sure I’d be able to keep the NG formula down, either. Next appointment is next Friday and we’ll see how things are going then.
Preface to the next story, which I am quite embarrassed about: I am extremely easily freaked out, and very fearful that we’re going to lose one or both babies. So, earlier in the week, I was..umm…struggling on the toilet, and mid-push, I feel something come…slipping out. Of my vagina. Something large and gooey. Now, the rational part of me goes, “Hey. You’ve had increased cervical fluid/mucous, it was probably that, so don’t freak out.” The completely irrational, and thus in control, part of me goes, “Oh my god, I just pooed out one of the babies.” I couldn’t look in the toilet. I just spent the week FREAKING OUT.
So, I decided, pride be damned, I’m going to say something about it to Dr S, and ask for an ultrasound. The guy is a saint–he didn’t even bat an eye, just filled out the ultrasound requisition and got me in for a scan before I could even leave the office. So, woo, surprise ultrasound. And the (not so surprising)news: they’re perfect. There’s still two of them, they’re both measuring 7w5d(spot on), and we got to hear the heartbeats! (once I calmed down enough to hold still) Baby A is ticking along at 152, Baby B at 155. We even got a DVD with the videos, which I will link to as soon as CJ gets them uploaded.
I cannot tell you how relieved I am.
Edit: Here’s the babies!
Edit 2: Argh, can’t get the videos to embed. Here’s links:
Baby A Baby B
Thank god for IV Zofran and fluids. I still feel a little nauseated, but no vomiting so far today, and no headache. Haven’t had anything to eat yet, but I think I’ll try some grapes now(I’m a fruit craver). And some tea–now that I think about it, that sounds really good.
The nure came out last night around 730, and we got my mediport accessed no problem, got the zofran running in, and started the fluids. They started me on just 4mg a day of Zofran, but when Amy called the doc, he said I could go up to twice a day, but to call them if I needed more than that. Getting two liters of D5LR a day, and adding an amp of multivitamins to one of them. No more nasty prenatals that I just throw up anyways! We’re also checking my weight at every nursing visit(they’ll be back tomorrow), and checking my urine for ketones every day. I had a small amount yesterday, haven’t checked yet today.
Since I’m feeling so good, I think we’re going to go out to Babies R Us and have a look around! I haven’t really left the house in a week, so that will be nice. Hoping that the nausea stays away and that Miss W and family can come over tonight.
ETA: Damnit, spoke to soon. Finished posting this and immediately started vomiting.
Met with Dr Sanko at RGOA today; had a very good appt. He’s not a warm and fuzzy doc–but as Miss W says, warm and fuzzy is for puppies. And the very good thing: he’s actually going to treat my hyperemesis according to protocol! A nurse is coming out tonight to start the IV and the meds/fluids, yay! It’s been a miserable day–I’m down 5 pounds, can’t pee, dizzy when standing, and my blood pressure was 84/50. Not good.
He’s concerned about my history of TIAs and so is running a bunch of blood to figure out if I have a clotting disorder. Results back tonight but I probably won’t get them until the next appt, next Weds. I’m not worried there. When I had my TIAs, they said it was just a vessel spasming, not anything clot related, so…
The midwives called this morning and told me I have a UTI. Couldn’t prove it by me, so Dr S is running another culture, just to be sure. I’m betting antibiotics are in my future.
As far as the twins go, he said the ultrasound pics look great, he’s not concerned about baby A’s slightly slower heart rate(115, compared to baby B’s 120). I’ll have another ultrasound in about 4 weeks, then the nuchal translucency and 1st trimester screen between 11-13 weeks, and then u/s’s every 4-6 weeks after that. The average gestation for twins is 35 weeks, he said if I got that far, the babes should be fine. Because I’m tall, I don’t think I’ll have a problem carrying that long–there’s lots of room for the babies to grow into, as long as I don’t have an undiscovered incompetant cervix or anything like that. We didn’t really talk about my wishes for the birth–just that there was a possibility of a c-section–but we’ll get there. Let’s get through the first trimester first!
He said the trip we were planning to take at 3o weeks–to Switzerland–is definately out. That’s a bummer, but I was expecting that, so…and it’s worth it. Chris’s parents want him to go without me, since it’s a family reunion, but as far as I’m concerned, he is NOT leaving his 30-weeks-pregnant-with-twins wife to go galavanting around Europe! Am I being unreasonable there?
I’m still just amazed that we’re having twins. It makes everything so worth it, seeing those heartbeats on ultrasound. I will vomit for weeks, as long as those heartbeats remain strong. I’m really starting to feel connected to them, ya know? Seeing them made a big difference.
Onwards! 